17 June 2010, Blog Entry
What is connection anyway?
We’re all meant to be connected these days it seems. Amongst my friends and colleagues I’m quite restrained being registered on only one professional networking site and one social one. And then my mobile provider reminds me through their billboards how ‘connected’ I am by using their services. Now I think about it, it’s not so different from the old BT catchphrase “It’s good to talk”.
That was back in the 1980s and, believe me, I had no difficulty in talking! I wasn’t that good though at what I now know to be connecting. You know, really being with one other person in a way that you get them, and they get you. And this has absolutely nothing to do with the medium (phone, skype, online network..) nor the context (business meeting, party, supermarket checkout..) and everything to do with how I am in myself, and my intention of how I want to be with someone else, or indeed a whole group of people.
Do you notice those days when everyone you meet reflects back to you the mood you’re in yourself? I truly think connection, or lack of it, is contagious.
So what have I learned since my talk-talk days? I now know how to, at will:
- Change my inner state and my attitude.
- Truly listen to others, putting aside what I think I need to say next.
- Put myself in another’s shoes and see the world from their viewpoint, even if (especially if!) I don’t agree with them.
- Express myself honestly and directly.
- Agree boundaries.
- Work creatively in partnership.
My relationship with myself and with others has blossomed as a result, and it’s largely because of my own experience that I do the work that I do. In fact later this year in October I’ll be training The Power of Connection in southern Spain.
I want others to benefit from true connection at any time of their choice, not just when they’re in a good mood, or their football team has won, or life is simply going their way…
In fact my relationship with life itself has transformed whether it’s going ‘my’ way or not.